Gotta Love the Classics
by Aylin Penrose
Summary: How do Sirius and his fellow Marauders react when a prank is pulled on him? Hogwarts is about to find out.


**Written for 'Weekly Challenge - #1, Ilvermorny School of Witchcraft and Wizardry' (Prompt #1)** **Sirius hadn't quite expected things to turn out this way when he woke that morning, but he wasn't exactly complaining**

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The morning had begun innocently enough, as innocent as any morning could be when Sirius Black was involved, and nothing of particular note had happened all throughout breakfast, unless you counted Remus making Peter laugh so hard that milk came out of his nose. No, the action didn't start until after breakfast.

Since it was a Saturday in late April, the majority of Hogwarts students found themselves outside enjoying the sunshine and cool breeze that floated off the lake and the Marauders were no exception. While Remus and Peter were lounging under a tree and going over Peter's DADA homework, James and Sirius were engaged in a deadly battle to see who could skip stones the farthest.

Sirius was currently in the lead and had no intention of losing now, especially since a case of butterbeer and large box of chocolate frogs was on the line. It was his turn and, ignoring James' taunts, he got into his prime stone skipping stance, pulled back his arm to the position that would give him the best force behind his throw, and let fly. However, he didn't get to see just how far that beautiful and flawless throw took his stone because just as he let go, a large gust of wind propelled him forward and he went head first into the water.

When he came up, soaking wet and spitting up water, he could hear laughter all around him but considering he was the center of attention on a daily basis, this did not bother him. What bothered him was that that gust of wind was not normal, it was deliberate, and that meant that someone had just tried to sabotage his game.

His first suspect was, of course, James but seeing as how he was currently ankle deep in water, his hair and robes were in disarray, and his face held just the right amount of bewildered innocence before bursting into laughter Sirius concluded that he had been hit with the same gust of wind but had managed to catch himself. There was no way that he could allow such an injustice so he pulled his wand and summoned his friend to him then quickly canceled the summoning, the pull was just strong enough to cause James to lose his balance and topple over right next to Sirius.

As James spluttered beside him, Sirius focussed on his next two suspects. Remus and Peter hadn't had the time to get themselves under control before Sirius had pulled his small prank and so both ended up rolling around on the ground and clutching their sides in uncontrollable laughter. After some quick calculating, he decided that the wind had not come from the left but from the right so they were innocent too, well, not completely. He raised his wand and shot two tickling charms at each one then summoned their wands so they couldn't cancel it. If he was feeling nice about it, he just might cancel it before they peed their pants.

Once that punishment was meted out, he scanned the area and saw a large boulder sitting off to the right and behind where he had been standing. It was an ideal hiding spot to get off a spell without anybody seeing you and so Sirius scanned the perimeter for the guilty party.

A group of Gryffindor firsties that were laughing and holding each other up were immediately dismissed, as were the two female Puffs that were giggling at him. Not because they were girls but because Sirius knew for a fact that while they enjoyed watching innocent pranks being pulled, they disliked actually pulling said pranks. It was only a second later that Sirius caught sight of and zeroed in on a Slytherin student with greasy black hair and a hook nose who had a gleeful smirk on his face and an evil glint in his eyes.

"Snivellus." He growled and James, who had been glaring at Sirius, swiveled his head around to direct the glare at their most hated fellow student.

Severus Snape sent a sneer their way and promptly spun around to head back into the castle.

"Oh he is so going to regret this." Sirius muttered as he made his way out of the lake. Nobody came between him and his sweets without 'serious' (Pun intended) retribution.

After canceling the tickling charms on Remus and Peter, the four headed into the castle so that Sirius, James, and Peter could change. That's right, while Remus had managed to hold it in, Peter hadn't been so lucky and, to his everlasting embarrassment, had actually peed his pants.

Once everybody was dry and in clean clothes once again, they congregated on Sirius' bed to plan out their retaliation.

Lunchtime came and Sirius led the group, minus Peter, into the Great Hall, ready to watch the first phase of their prank take effect.

Just as everybody was settled in and chatter was at maximum volume an owl carrying a bright red envelope came souring into the Hall, banked near the Head Table and alighted in front of Severus Snape.

Receiving mail during lunch wasn't overly strange since students get such every now and then but the howler this owl was carrying got everyone's attention and the Hall went silent in anticipation.

Snape was stunned into silence for a moment, wondering who had possibly sent him a howler, before he jumped into action as the envelope began to smoke and opened it.

"OH SEVERUS SNAPE. _HOW DO I LOVE THEE? LET ME COUNT THE WAYS. I LOVE THEE TO THE DEPTH AND BREADTH AND HEIGHT MY SOUL CAN REACH, WHEN FEELING OUT OF SIGHT_ —"* A male voice boomed across the Great Hall, to the horror of the howler's recipient. It didn't finish the entire sonnet but just as the envelope burst into flames, another owl settled in front of Snape and it was also carrying a howler.

"OH SEVERUS SNAPE. _SHALL I COMPARE THEE TO A SUMMER'S DAY? THOU ART MORE LOVELY AND MORE TEMPERATE. ROUGH WINDS DO SHAKE THE DARLING BUDS OF MAY_ —"* This one was clearly female but that did nothing for the greasy haired Slytherin as he sat there, face beet red in embarrassment and anger, while everybody laughed around him.

Amongst the chaos, Peter materialized beside James, who had kept the seat open for him, and handed the taller wizard his invisibility cloak back.

Just as yet another owl bearing a red envelope began making its way towards him, Snape jumped up from his seat and glared at the Marauders. "You'll pay for this Black!" He roared and then bolted out of the Hall with the owl trailing after him.

Sirius nearly fell over backward out of his seat he was laughing so hard. That had actually turned out much funnier than he originally thought it would be, especially since he didn't have to worry about being caught for the prank. Howlers destroyed themselves, therefore destroying the evidence, Remus had stuck his book of poetry to the underside of his bed before placing a notice-me-not charm on it in case the Professors attempted to search their dorm, and while they each had a hand in creating the howlers they had made sure to use a voice alteration charm so they sounded different each time.

There were a total of 7 howlers in all so Snivellus still had a ways to go before the prank was fully completed and the four friends felt that it was a prank well executed and couldn't wait for the second phase.

When dinner rolled around, the group of four were glad that Snape had decided to come down for it, despite what had happened at lunch. He got quite a few sniggers aimed in his direction but he ignored everybody and sat down with the other Slytherin 5th years.

Though they hid it as best as they could, the tricksters were nearly giddy with excitement as 6:30 rolled around and it took everything he had in him for Sirius not to continuously look at his watch.

At lunch while the students' attention had been suitably diverted by the first howler, Peter had snuck up behind Snape and shot him with two different spells, one that Remus had perfected earlier that day and the other he and Peter had found in the library. James had gotten the idea when they were using the voice alteration charm on the howlers and it took Remus a couple of hours to modify it but he finally got it to work with James' help.

When he finally gave in and looked at his watch, Sirius thought that either Remus had been wrong about the spell or Peter had cast it incorrectly because his watch showed 6:33. Just as he was about to turn to Remus to say something about it, a girlish scream came from over near the Slytherin table. He gazed across the Hall and saw Snape standing there with a look of pure rage etched across his face.

"Black…" He began in an attractive female voice but stopped as he got a sort of dazed look in his eyes.

When they cleared he continued in a somewhat dreamy voice, "What hast thou done to me? Allow me claim they lips in a passionate k…" This time he stopped himself by clamping a hand over his mouth. Giving a horrified look around him he once again bolted out of the Great Hall to peels of laughter.

"That worked so much better than I thought it would." Remus said as he wiped tears from his eyes.

"Yeah it did." Sirius replied and turned to the smallest in their group. "Good work on those spells Peter, I almost thought they didn't take but I guess my watch is a bit fast."

Peter sat a little straighter at the praise and grinned back.

Thinking to modify the voice alteration spell to set it on a time delay had been a stroke of genius on James' part and the hex that forces its victim to spout out poetry was just icing on the cake as far as Sirius was concerned. They would only last about an hour or so but he figured that the greasy git wouldn't speak to any of his House members for the rest of the evening.

Later that night, they had snuck out of the Gryffindor tower and were on their way to place a charm on the entrance to the Slytherin dormitories that would turn anyone who walked through it entirely pink, including clothes and especially hair, for several hours. This was the last phase of their prank and they were overly excited about it.

Alas, this prank was not to be, for just as they descended into the dungeons they heard a noise from up ahead and then voices from the corridor on their right.

"Quick, the map." Sirius whispered turning to Peter who was in charge of it for tonight.

He felt around all of his pockets quickly before giving them a horrified look. "I don't have it, I must have left it on my bed."

Sirius half groaned half growled. They didn't necessarily need to know who was in front of them but it did help them decide whether they needed to retreat or if they could risk continuing on.

"I think we should keep…" But Remus didn't get to finish since Peeves chose that moment to come through the wall on their right, knock over a suit of armor, and then proceeded up into the ceiling to the floor above, cackling like crazy the entire time.

Whether he had known they were there and done it on purpose or was simply being Peeves didn't matter. As soon as the noise faded James whispered harshly, "Run."

Sirius hadn't quite expected things to turn out this way when he woke that morning, but he wasn't exactly complaining as he and his fellow Marauders ran at breakneck speeds to the shortcut that would take them from the ground floor all the way up to the seventh. If their luck held, they may just make it to the Gryffindor common room and into bed without getting caught.

So, now here they were, peeking out from behind the tapestry that hid the entrance to their shortcut on the seventh floor to make doubly sure there was nobody around because someone, Peter, hadn't brought the map and they had no way of knowing if one of the Professors or Prefects were just waiting around the corner to ambush them and take an unreasonable amount of points from each of them. The map wasn't completed yet but it at least had the seventh floor on it for occasions just like this.

They finally made it safely to the common room and all were trying to catch their breath while also trying, and failing miserably, to stifle their laughter. Remus was attempting to hold up both James and Sirius, made difficult by the fact that not only was he laughing but they kept slapping and shoving each other while giggling like school girls. It wasn't but a moment later that Sirius gave James a particularly hard shove to the shoulder causing Remus to lose his balance, trip over Peter, who was sprawled out on the floor, and send all three of them tumbling to the ground.

Ten minutes later, after losing 20 points and getting a firm dressing down from one irate Lily Evans, they were all ensconced in their beds and Sirius promptly fell asleep with a smile on his face; he couldn't wait for the chaos that tomorrow might bring.

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 **A/N** : *Both sonnets are obviously not mine. The first is How Do I Love Thee? By Elizabeth Barrett Browning and the second is Shall I compare thee to a summer's day? By William Shakespeare.

 **A/N 2:** I hope you guys enjoyed reading this as much as I enjoyed writing it.


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